Backamee Post 2006

The city of Backamee has a long and proud history, dating back to it’s first citizens in the early 18th century. Picked for it’s central location and proximity to several waterways, Backamee quickly became a hub for the great slaughterhouses of the time, and they have thrived in the city and surrounding area to this very day making Backamee one of the great meat packing communities of the world. It’s original citizens were of Dutch and Irish descent, then came the Macedonians during the great sausage famine of 1843, and of course the French who were here for 3 or 4 weeks in the late 19th century, but were annoying and asked to leave by the Scottish who beat them here by a couple of months.

The first organized hockey team was founded by one of the few Frenchmen who decided to stay, Henri DeLaJambom in 1889. The team, known simply as the Backamee’s, played 3 seasons until the great Bovine Phlegm outbreak caused the team to disband for lack of vim and vigour. Several years later a professional league sprang up and local Haggis baron Angus MacCheeseloaf christened his new team the Backamee Bags, the nickname stemming his beloved Haggis, a Scottish delicacy cooked inside a sheep’s stomach, or Bags as the locals called it.
That Bags team lasted for 18 seasons and launched the careers of such Backamee greats as Sockless Sammy Giblet, Gibby the Mutterer Rarebit and of course the legendary Dickie the Wiener Bonemauro.

WW1 sadly ended that rendition of the Bags but they were reborn a mere 5 years later under the direction of one Louis T. Lebanon Sr. Mr. Lebanon, who strangely never had a nickname, guided the Bags in the then formidable Federal league to many league championships, culminating in their final title in 1950. Among the players in that era, Sweet Lou Lebanon, the son of the team President, Little Feet Brown, who later left to start a specialty small foot shoe factory in then beautiful town of Sodom, Peach Toast Bryson who once fell 19 short of 20 goals, back when 20 goals meant something!, and of course that steady rearguard Numbtoe Marks.

Sadly, in 1985, State authorities condemned the venerable Backamee War Memorial Auditorium and the team folded once again. Until, in 1995, a savvy businessman in the area, one Abraham Horowitz jumped at a chance to put a team in the newly refurbished up to local codes BWMA and he purchased a franchise in the newly formed League of Leagues. His first official hiring was that of Louis T. Lebanon Jr. as the teams President and GM, a position the Sweet One holds to this day. The team has had its ups and downs, notably the untimely death of Mr. Horowitz under suspicious circumstances in 1998 and the subsequent change of ownership to his widow Mrs. Bambi-Lea Horowitz, a former exotic dancer from rural West Virginia. “Bad Luck” said Mr. Lebanon at the time, and since then the club has had it’s fair share of it. For seven straight seasons the club bolted out to fantastic starts, only to see their fortunes die in late March and early April, what has become known far and wide as the annual Bags Swoon. After several years of litigation with the Horowitz estate and several brushes with the Backamee vice squad, Bambi-Lea Horowitz sold the team in 2001 to a consortium of local businessmen led by lawyer Gnarly Hooves of the law firm Beaks, Hooves and Nitrates.

In 2006-2007, the Bags are hoping a change in Logo and Uniform to the old Federal League days of yore as seen on the cover page will spark the franchise toward it’s first title in the League of Leagues. Under the guidance of Sweet Lou Lebanon and Head Coach Numbtoe Marks, the Bags future is a bright one.