Icers Break Training Camp

Sodom Sun (by Ben Dover)

The legendary Sodom Icers, the league's most storied and glorious franchise, have left their training camp facility in Dildo, Newfoundland and are headed home to the comfy confines of the A.S.S. (Air Sodom Stadium) General Manager Harry "Paps" Mear has made several changes in the team after last year's uncharacteristic fifth place finish. The biggest changes come in goal where the Icers managed only 8 of a possible 44 points last season. When asked how the team would do this year, Mear, who had nodded off, was awoken. "Cheeseburger, I need a cheeseburger," said. When the question was asked again, Mear suddenly became afraid. "Where am I," he yelled, his eyes like frying pans. "Who are you guys? What's this building? What's going on? Where's my bedpan?"
The gathered reporters decided instead to question head coach Rusty Schvincter as to how the team would fair. "We'll be competitive," he replied. "We'll be able to thump that nancy team in Victoria, but I'm sure some other teams will be able to give us a tussle."
The league is expected to return to normal this season after the shocking results of last year. Both the champion and runner up were perennial also-rans who just happened to both get hot and lucky the same season. It was a shocking upset for all hockey experts, but these things happen in the world of sports every century or so. Most pundits expect a return to normalcy this season.