Schvincter Keeps Job

Sodom Sun (by Ben Dover)

Despite a horrible and shocking start to the new season, the legendary Sodom Icers', the league's most storied and glorious franchise, will keep Rusty Schvincter as head coach. GM Harry "Paps" Mear woke up long enough this morning to say Schvincter's job was safe, despite the stunning shock of being in 7th place. Only the Victoria Secrets, the **unofficial** defending champions, are below the vaunted Icers. Mear says the incredibly slow start by the Icers isn't that bad and that Schvincter will be given more time to right the ship. Schvincter himself said he likes his team and doesn't give a hoot about the shockingly slow start.


** The Victoria Secrets franchise once tried to steal a championship by (rumours say) bribing the league statistician into hiding a shorthanded point by eventual champion Sodom Icers. The mysterious missing shorthander was thankfully found in a final look at the league stats. The underhanded attempt to steal a title thankfully failed, but it is still considered to be a dark day in the LOL's history. Because of this attempted theft, there is some concern about last season's championship by the Secrets. Was it legitimate? Did they get away with a bribe this time? A full investigation of the Secrets championship last season is ongoing. A full report from Private Investigator Dee Enay is expected next week.