Unrest in Panama

Story filed by
Brown from the Sun
Stats by
Grey from the Times
Dateline October 2/09

A near riot broke out today in the parking lot of the stately Diana Dome.
Irate Panama fans, angered by the price gouging antics of the legendary GM protested the high ticket prices($2.50) for lower bowl ducats.
Their complaint centered around the flinty GM raising prices and at the same time putting a team on the ice that could possibly go all season without registering a single scoring point.
The anger was palpable as the fans hurled spoiled fruit and bricks at the Dome.
Several fans found Shaughnessy's fabled high performance Yugo and over turned it.
This reporter called the Hats public relations department to see how the clunb would react and what attempts would be made to mollify the justifiably irate fan base.
A familiar gruff voice , slightly slurred , answered the phone and I posed the question. There was a split second pause and then the famous growl exploded through the reciever. "Fuck em"