Power Rankings Aug 2010

TEAM	Current	Last Year	CHANGE	OVERALL “Modern Era”	TOTAL SEASONS	TOTAL TITLES	IN MONEY “Modern Era”
Wasaga Beach Thongs	1	1	0	83.17%	8	4	6
Relief Bay Hawks	2	2	0	76.36%	5	0	2
Flatbush Divers	3	3	0	72.58%	4	0	2
Sodom Icers	4	5	1	66.06%	14	3	5
Panama Hats	5	4	-1	64.40%	13	3	5
Inn Tents	6	6	0	61.81%	5	0	0
New Zealand Slapnuts	7	8	1	56.02%	6	0	2
Victoria Secrets	8	7	-1	53.98%	7	1	3
Poonani Chasers	9	12	3	52.80%	4	1	1
Backamee Bags	10	9	-1	50.55%	11	0	0
Uranus Puckers	11	10	-1	48.23%	9	0	0
Bangor Goods	12	11	-1	44.09%	3	0	0
Only Wannawins	13	13	0	41.64%	5	0	1
Moose Jaw Breakers	14	14	0	29.92%	9	0	0
Wyevale Water Lillies	15	16	1	23.30%	2	0	0
Cummin Pailers	16	15	-1	17.17%	9	0	0
Tutts Ice Rutts	17	17	0	8.01%	2	0	0
Taiwan Ons						1
Chia Pets						1

LOL Greatest Performances Ever

LOL Greatest Performances Ever

The League of Leagues, about to enter the fifteenth season (not factoring in the two lost seasons), is undergoing a changing of the guard. The Poonani Chasers, coming off a fantastic, championship winning season, who had a flawless draft, pulled off masterful trades down the stretch, and finished with the best scoring and goaltending, where only the Only Wannawins were remotely even close. It was nearly a perfect victory for the Poonani Chasers, which sent the league’s stat crunchers hard to work this season to see who had the best season ever, as well highs and lows throughout the years.

Below is a list of the greatest, and worst statistical teams ever assembled.

Greatest list of Snipers Ever – 2001-02 Panama Hats

In a ratio of team goals vs man games played, the 01/02 Panama Hats, led by the young and cheap Markus Naslund and Todd Bertuzzi, also bolstered soon to be hall of famers Jagr, Kariya, Mogilny, Robitaille, Bure and Selanne, plus young superstars Datsyuk and Marian Hossa. This team who also traded away during that season a young Iginla and Lecavalier, remains the most potent goal scoring team ever assembled in the LOL. No surprise this was the Hats 2^nd championship team, and set the pace for another one the following year.

Worst goal scoring team ever is the 2003/04 Cummin Pailers. The Pailers, known for 3 months of pre-draft prep only to not set a line up for the next 3 months after, managed to ice the worst team ever to put goals in the net. The Pailers depended on Matt Cooke, Shean Donovan and Dean McAmmond as their 2^nd tier of goal scorers, behind only a few capable gunners.

Record for most goals by a team in a given season is the 2006/07 Wasaga Beach Titties with 461. Least is 222 by the 2003/04 Pailers.

Most Efficient Scoring Team Ever – 2005-06 Sodom Icers

In a ratio of team points (g & a) vs man games played, the 2005-06 Sodom Icers lead the league all time – with a somewhat no-name band of lunch pailers, besides Thornton and Zetterberg, the Icers posted 12x 20 goal scorers and 13 with 30 or more assists, including that years Hart Winner, Joe Thornton, who scored enough for two or three players. The Second Place Icers had 80 less man games that year than the eventual winning Wasaga Beach Titties. Makes you wonder what could have happened with a full extra body over the course of a season?

Worst point producing team ever is the 2003/04 Cummin Pailers. This was no doubt a bad year for the Cummin Pailers, who got caught looking deeply into those soft blue eyes of Honest Will Gillis and pulled off a jaw dropping, ass leaking, whopper of a trade in October, and coast his way through the year.

Record for most assists by a team in a given season is the 2006/07 Wasaga Beach Titties with 1177. The Titties actually own the top 3 positions, 1177, 1165, 1163, all in back to back to back years. Least is 619 by the 2003/04 Pailers.

Biggest, Meanest, Baddest Team Ever – 2002-03 Sodom Icers

In a ratio of PIMs vs man games played, the 02/03 Icers lead the LOL with more than an average of a PIM a game, per player. At 104% of PIMS to Man Games – The Icers 23 roster players averaged 83 PIMS each over 80 games, and is the only team ever to have more pims than games played.

Worst? Who other than the 2003/04 Cummin Pailers? Couldn’t score, couldn’t produce points, couldn’t fight there way out of a wet paper bag, and didn’t want to either. This is the season that caused the poor Pailers to fold up the franchise, forever. No more “Hunt of Next October”.

Record for most pims by a team in a given season is the 2006/07 Wasaga Beach Titties with 1413… just a couple slashing minors ahead of the 02 Icers. Least amount of PIMs ever is 604 wimped together by the Argyle Sox in 2001.

Most Dangerous Special Teams Ever – 2005/06 Downtown Beatdowns

In a weighted ratio of PPG, PPA and SHP vs man games played, the one-year-only team – the Downtown Beatdowns, who finished in the basement in 2005/06, somehow managed to post the games best special teams in the process. Perhaps the 2005 season, the first year after the lockout, the emergence of new stars like Ovi and Sid, and the lockdown on interference penalties, paved the way to a surprising season, but the Beatdowns posted strong stats on the PP, as well as nearly unheard of Shorty numbers with 41 in a season.

Worst? Cummin Pai/no wait! 2007 Only Wannawins. The Wannawins, back after a 1 year sabbatical from the LOL came back with an eye on 2009, and forgot that they had powerplays back in 2007. The Wins, collectively posted one of the lowest seasons ever in PPG, PPA, and SHP.

Record for most PPG in a season: 05/06 Flatbush Divers (189), PPA 05/06 Tittes (344) and Shorties: 2008/09 Sodom Icers with 45. Lowest totals: PPG: 2001 Backamee Bags (62), PPA: 2003 Pailers (yep) (139), and SHP: Tutts Ice Ruts in 2006 with 9. Bwaha.

Clutch Performing Team Ever – 2005/06 Panama Hats

In a ratio of GWG vs man games played, the 2002/03 Panama Hats represent the league’s most clutch goal scoring team ever.

Worst? The same year saw the expansion Victoria Secrets finish as the league’s worst scoring clutch team ever. Any chance a trade between the new naive baby faced Secrets and grizzled jaded win at all cost Hats could have had anything to do with that?

Record for most GWG in a season is the 2007 Hats with 79, just passing their previous mark set by the 2002 squad. Biggest ‘when they tough gets going, the get going home’ chokers were the 2002 Secrets with 29.

Great Team Goaltending… EVER – 2007/08 Wasaga Beach Bitch Titties

In a weighted ratio of Wins, GAA, Sv%, and SO, vs man games played, the 07/08 Titties retained Vezina candidate Mikka Kiprusoff, drafted Vezina contenders Backstrom and Lundvist, and then traded for perennial vezina winner Dominik Hasek as well (while maintaining the other 3), and picked up former vezina winner Jose Theodore off waivers for good measure, who posted a decent season in Colorado. All in all, on Saturday nights poor Willie would have to choose from past, current and future Vezina winners, leaving wins and shutouts on the bench. Some say he left more shutouts on the bench than other teams had on the ice. Never has a team in the LOL ever assembled such an awesome goalie rich team, and not likely anyone will even come close to it again.

Worst? The same specialty team super stars, Downtown Beatdowns of 2005, posted the absolute most hideous, laughable bwaha collection of goalies. Beatdowns, carried a respectable name in Belfour – whos last alcohol enraged season in Florida was a disaster and career ender. After the Eagle, the Beatdowns relied on a forgotten Brian Boucher, Mikael Tellqvist, “the juice” Jussi Markannen, and “ride’em hard” Reinhard Divis. The beatdowns also managed to leave Telly on the bench for one of his 2 shutouts, and as a team, only managed one all year.

Record

Wins – 2007 Titties with 142 – worst 2002 Slapnuts with 42

GAA – 2003 Panama Hats with 2.14 – worst 2005 Beatdowns with 3.41

SV% - 2003 Hats again with 0.923 – worst 2005 Beatdowns with 0.883

SO – 2008 RB Hawks with 21 – worst 20005 Beatdowns with 1 *snicker*

Christmas Gifts for the LOL

Team Poonai - A new saddle for your horse, with alittle grease on it so you fall off and we can catch up to you.

Team Hawk - A new CD, "DRAFTING MY WAY" numerous tips and insights on why the draft is important.

Team Inn Tents - A 17 volume collection on First Aid, Training methods on and off ice, Personal training tips, so maybe your team will be in shape come 2010-2011.

Team Secret - better fitting lingerae, as the ones presently using are hindering your performance.

Team Lilly - a watch and calendar so that you show up to the draft next year.

Team Sodom - a DVD of "100 YEARS OF THE HABS" a real team to model yourself from.

Team Hatter - a lump of coal, as nothing can improve your 2009-2010 showing

From
BUBBA "Santa" BEERS